she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
