I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
