do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
