Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
