im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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