She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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