Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize