Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
