my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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