Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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