So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
