she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Operation Purity has been aborted
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
