drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize