that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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