I want to stick my p in your. b.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
