He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
