have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize