Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
porn star boner night. come get it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
