its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
