she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
