is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
