My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
