So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
40s are totally the cure
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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