$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
