It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
