Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
