We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
