She said her name was "party"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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