Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
