is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
