checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
