I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
is that a dick in a sweater?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
