I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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