its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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