Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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