I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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