Three words: puerto rican gang bang
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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