dude i'm inner monologue high
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
