It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
