We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
