thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
