bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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