even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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