I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
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