You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
