So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
