wat bout pragnant strippers??
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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