I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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