If that was your dad, he is hot
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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