I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
