Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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