sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
