I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
