Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
