Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Can I color on your dick again?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
