Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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