White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
