no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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