I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i think my cat just said my name.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
