my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
