We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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