Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
