Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
