yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
